What I liked about Christmas 2011

So, this took long enough. The highlights from Christmas in images only a month later: 

My middle sister's surprise gift. It was PERFECT! We each got a bottle aptly named after our personality trait. Mine, on the left, is smarty pants. :) I might make it into a vase if I ever drink it. Still in the fridge! 

My dad didn't disappoint...he had his usual mid-day nap. Traditions. That's why we like the holidays!

It was nice enough out for the kids to play tag outside at Mema and Papa's house Monday. 

Of course, they all got sleds and really wanted to use them. But the lack of snow certainly didn't stop them. 

The poor 13-year-old cousin had the bulk of the work pushing everyone down the hill. 

Dan always has some trick up his sleeve. This year, he wrapped the kids' iPod nanos in giant boxes to throw them off!

My sister Jamie and her husband Teddy were home for three days from Germany. 

And of course, the No. 1 reason Christmas 2011 was so great....Dan got all the gifts. Wait, no, those weren't his. We were all glad he dodged a bullet, recovered from sepsis and was healthy enough to be home from the hospital.

Amen.

The Muppets and my pony

We like the Muppets. We saw the movie on opening afternoon -- Abby's birthday. It was a celebration of sorts. Then three weeks later Dan ended up in the ICU with the same condition that killed Muppets creator Jim Henson. That's just a weird random fact. 


The point of this story, or blog post is really how kids (and sometimes adults. OK. Fine. Me.)... It's interesting how kids and myself sing our own made-up lyrics when we don't really hear or understand what's being sung. 


Usually this is adorable, except when I'm doing this. Only Dan thinks it's adorable, and he says this exclusively because it was written into our marriage vows. 


Anyway, a certain aunt from Germany bought Ryker the Muppets movie soundtrack for Christmas; Turns out to be a great family gift. We've been jamming to that thing ever since! It's definitely the kind of music that both children and adults of my generation can appreciate. In fact, it led us to semi-introduce our kids to Nirvana. (A story for another day.) 


The Muppets soundtrack is what led me to google "Marconi" one day while we were in the car listening to the rock 'n' roll classic "We Built This City." Dan earnestly wanted to know who Marconi was, as in "Marconi plays the mamba." Who is this Marconi and why does he want to play the mamba so badly. So I looked it up on my iPhone. (Exactly how did we live without instant access to the world at our fingertips via 3G?) 


This is what I found, and I'm quoting Wikipedia. Not because I think it's authoritative, but because it was the first thing that popped up on my search. "Marconi is often credited as the inventor of radio, and indeed he shared the 1909 Nobel Prize in Physics with Karl Ferdinand Braun 'in recognition of their contributions to the development of wireless telegraphy.'"


Geez. I felt kinda stupid after that. Of course Marconi would be playing the mamba. Why wouldn't he? 


Well, quite possibly because my kids (and maybe me. OK. Me, too.) thought that "my pony" was playing the mamba. Marconi. My pony. Please tell me you see how the mistake can be made! And really that makes for a much more interesting mental image. Don't you think? Please tell me you agree. My poor delicate ego couldn't handle it any other way. 


Now, you MUST share. What lyrics have you misunderstood? I mean your kids...what lyrics have your kids misunderstood? Kindly comment below so I don't feel so silly!

A day of fun!

I probably shouldn't admit this, but these photos are OLD. Well, not terribly, and I am blogging darn it. The fact that I'm blogging stuff from three weeks ago doesn't matter to me yet! These are photos from a day at the Children's Museum in Decatur -- an awesome place where you can easily spend half a day. It was the last day of Christmas break. I took the day off work because it was Dan's first day back to work since his illness Dec. 12. He wasn't even close to 100 percent when he returned to work and he wasn't able to do much with the kids -- outside of trips to the library -- while he was home with them. So we took a day to get out of the house and have some fun, leave our troubles behind. We hijacked some friends who desperately needed a day, too. Both of us moms have to-do lists that drop to the floor, so we didn't really have the time. But you know, if we wanted to wait until we have the time, we'd sadly have empty houses. We HAVE to take days like these and leave our stacks of work untouched until the kids are in bed.

I love this pic of my two munchkins playing in the bubbles, and I loved it best in black and white. 

They played here for a long time, especially Abby. She loved the mail room and bank, sorting and delivering mail and money. 

Olivia's tradition. Can you see both images of her? 

Kenneth at the drive-up window at the bank. 

My kids are goofy -- big surprise!

Ryker as the patient. Later, I had to be the patient. I went in with a stomach ache and ended up with a broken arm, AND I gave birth to a baby. 

Olivia shows an x-ray to Ryker. 

LOVE THIS PHOTO! 

I hung with these two for quite a while, and they played very well together. I think Ryker is probably that way with most kids. He's SO GOOD with younger kids, not that Olivia is much younger. He wants a baby brother -- or sister -- so badly. I know he'd be a great big brother. But our hands feel so full already! I don't know how families do it, especially when they have special needs kids. I'm exhausted thinking about it. 

Speaking of exhausted, we took a wee detour after the museum to go through the Starbucks drive-through. Not only for momma but the kiddos, too! Don't worry--they don't drink caffeine!

It was great to have this day, and I hope we can squeeze in many others this year. It's as good for me as it is for them. What are some fun day trips that you have with your kids? Share some ideas so we'll know where to go next time!

Our 'scary' New Year's Eve dinner

So, for New Year's Eve we had a late lunch at Kiku in Springfield, which was AWESOME! Ryker, in his usual role, was scared -- of the fire and knives -- because of the stories his sister told. She'd been there before. I asked him in this video why, and he is playing the tough guy routine. As you can see, like most things that cause him anxiety (football, movies, soccer, amusement park rides), he ended up loving it! We go through this every time he has a fear. You'd think he'd trust us by now! Dan, by the way, loved it. He's been planning a return trip ever since, so if you haven't been, hit us up and we'll be glad to go with you! 

We should all be a little more like Dr. King (& Jesus)

I have always felt honored to that my birthday happens to fall on the same day as the birth of one of America’s great heroes – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. You know, ‘cause it’s really all about me.

Actually, I relate to him because I think he is often misunderstood – at least sometimes by some people. Because frequently his name is found in sentences with the word “fight.” As in, “Martin Luther King Jr. fought for civil rights.” It’s right there on Wikipedia, I tell ya.

Well, I suppose he did. But I take issue with the choice of verb because even though I didn’t know him personally, I don’t think Dr. King was a fightin’ kind of man. Sure, he rallied, protested and led others to do so. But he encouraged everyone to do so without using violence. Remember…he won a Noble PEACE Prize. I think sometimes people invoke his name when they are using methods of protest of which he would not condone. Plus, since a lot of violence was employed against him, I think sometimes people get confused and think he was mixed up in that. He wasn't.

I thought today was the perfect occasion for me to reflect on how Dr. King changed the world for me and for my children. And what is the relevance now, in 2012?

King was the epitome of peace. He believed in tapping into our individual strengths such as the use of intellect and voice, not to mention the power of collective boycotting.  Dr. King knew how to make a stand effectively for what he believed in.

And he knew the power that just one person could have. He believed in himself. While other African Americans (and sympathetic white folks) lived in an era full of racial injustices, they were either so brainwashed they accepted the injustices as reality or they felt powerless to overcome them. Not King. “Ultimately a genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus, but a molder of consensus."

He personally connected himself to the cause. "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." And he related that dream to all he did. In other words, he treated ALL people just the way he said he wanted to be treated  --  by the content of their character.

King was arrested for sit-ins, stabbed, abused and hated. He had many enemies – the Ku Klux Klan among them. His house was fire-bombed and he was assassinated at the age of 39. Through it all, I’m quite certain he even loved some people whose very characters were unlovable. Because his actions were motivated by love. How powerful is that?

His spoken words, later memorialized after his death: “If any of you are around when I have to meet my day, I don’t want a long funeral. And if you get somebody to deliver the eulogy, tell them not to talk too long…. Tell them not to mention that I have a Nobel Peace Prize, that isn’t important. Tell them not to mention that I have three or four hundred other awards, that’s not important…. I’d like somebody to mention that day, that Martin Luther King Jr. tried to give his life serving others. I’d like for somebody to say that day, that Martin Luther King Jr. tried to love somebody…. I want you to say that I tried to love and serve humanity.”

What is his relevance today? What do I want my kids to know on this national holiday?

·          It’s OK to go against what society views as right or good, especially if it isn’t backed up Biblically. 

·          One person can make a difference.

·          Do good things because they are the right things to do, not for accolades or awards.

·          Be motivated by love, plus all the other fruits of the spirit that Dr. King also seemed to employ – peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Did I forget any?

·          Be like Jesus, who summed up the commandments to this: “Love God and love people.”

·          Accept and love people for who they are, not how they look.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy is more than just prizes, the Civil Rights Amendment and speeches. It was how he lived his life and touched the lives of those around him. It makes me wonder, how can I make my legacy better? How can I help my children to understand that the way they act daily is their living testimony?

Why I changed my mind about Facebook and birthdays

I feel a tad bit embarrassed. OK, I admit that I’m flat-out ashamed of myself. I can’t even face you right now!

Somewhere between my Facebook “fast” of 2011 and our longest ever summer vacation and Dan’s hospitalization and a long list of other reasons why I was disconnected from the online social arena, I made a decision that I repeated to myself like a pathetic broken record all year. (Some of you have no idea what a record is, do you? Bad analogy. Sorry.) 

I decided I would no longer wish friends Happy Birthday – at least not via Facebook.

“It’s impersonal,” I told myself.

“Anyone can do it; it’s practically meaningless,” I argued.

“It’s a waste of time that I could be using in countless productive ways,” I said.

“I’ll tell my ‘real-life’ friends ‘Happy Birthday!’ when I see them. I might even send a card.”

That I could even convince myself of this last statement just proves I lie to myself. I can’t even remember what I commit to do as soon as I get home even two hours after I utter the words to someone. I don’t remember birthdays, except my children’s and husband’s and that’s only because the doctors' offices make you know these kinds of things when you call.

I’m extremely insensitive about things like birthdays and anniversaries because honestly they just never meant all that much to me. They are dates on the calendar, and my old introverted self doesn’t want the embarrassment of gifts or accolades. I know my loved ones love me, and that security is all I need. Or, at least I thought it was.

Recently I came to realize we all need encouragement now and again. It’s nice to know someone cares, and a birthday – or anniversary – can be (but doesn’t have to be…see, I still don’t want to be tied to dates!) a nice stopping point.

What is true is this:

·         I think about people often and the impact they’ve had on me. When I see them, I try to tell them. When I’m really motivated, I send a note.

·         I do my very best to send thank-you notes. When someone goes out of their way to do something special for me or my husband or kids, I want to acknowledge that.

·         I have a wonderful circle of friends and family who are encouraging and loving to me all year long.

·         My Facebook page made my day yesterday.

Yes, it’s true. I could not contain my smile when I woke up with the sun on Jan. 15 and there were 11 notifications on my Facebook account. By day’s end, more than 100 friends stopped by my page. And yes, some were short and sweet and didn’t take much effort. But for those few seconds, someone thought of me, and that feels nice, doesn’t it?

And then there were ones that just lifted my spirit and made me feel like I matter like this one:

“Happy birthday 'mom!' I'm so glad I'm  a part of your family now! :) … I love you! ... You are so supportive. I love it. ♥ by the way the cheesecake I made you is SO GOOD! ;) sorry you didn't get it today!”

And this one:

“Happy Birthday to my beautiful, talented sweet daughter. We love you very much and look forward to celebrating your birthday on the 29th.”

 

Oh, OK. It’s from my mom, so it probably shouldn’t count. But really, many of the people who stopped by and wished me Happy Birthday really mean something to me, even if I don't see them often. For instance, there was even a missionary friend from Africa who wrote “may the Lord continue to bless you.”

 

Yes, how true. I have been so blessed. Because of all of you. So, thank you. And expect me to write on your wall this year. I’m so sorry I was selfish and thoughtless in 2011.

 

My goal this year is to be more like my dear, sweet, encouraging friend Jill, who instead of sending out a “stock” birthday card mailed me a little note card with two of the sweetest sentences anyone has ever said about me. It’s hanging on my fridge. I may never take it down, except to frame it. It’s so nice and thoughtful, and while it didn’t take much effort, it meant A LOT. 

 

Yes, a birthday can be a good stopping point to slow down for two minutes and think about what that person REALLY means to you and then tell them. Who knows if you’ll ever get the chance again. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all!

 

 

Our small sledding excursion

Friday I wanted to stay and get a photo of a nurse at the hospital who works nights, so to break up my day, Dan brought the kids (who had a snow day) to Lincoln to go sledding and have dinner together. It was the second time getting to use the sleds the kids got from Mema and Papa for Christmas, but the first time using them in actual snow. (More to come about the first sledding later this week!) 

The first one down the hill: Mommy!! Abby wasn't thrilled when I grabbed her sled but then she gave me a push, or six to get going. It wasn't that I didn't weigh enough; it was barely a hill!

Once they made a couple "paths" with their sleds, they used those for a fast ride down the bunny slope. It was definitely fast enough for them!

Whee!!

Abby took a break from sledding to make a snow angel. She's using her foot to put finishing touches on her art. 

The kids didn't need a push, but a good shove would make them fly down the hill, across the park road and into a little catch basin. 

Abby gets a push!

My little angel. 

My little....other angel. :-) 

The slave labor. 

Me and Ryker trying a tandem ride. He loved it!

There were deer ALL OVER as we were leaving. What a great family evening!

The longest 10-minute ride...ever!

I love my children. Really, I do. I feel the need to repeat that: I LOVE my children. I would do anything for them. Throw myself under a bus, take their place in any physical pain or emotional heartache. I sympathize when they are in even the slightest bit of agony. “Oh, you poor baby. That paper cut looks really bad.” OK, you get the point.

I am prefacing my story with that, because I feel societal pressure to do so before I utter the next few paragraphs.

Today was the longest ride to school ever, and I wasn’t stuck in the backed up Route 29 traffic due to the .5-inch of snow fender-bender. It was the same 10-minute drive it always is, and yet, we couldn’t get there soon enough. When the last child exited the car, the door shut and I mentally uttered the words: “Good riddance.”

I know. I know. You’re thinking I’m a horrible mom right now. And maybe I am. But somehow I held it together for those excruciating 10 minutes while they sang screechy songs at the top of their lungs. They were actually competing to see who could sing at a higher pitch and more out-of-tune. Well, they didn’t say that, but I know my daughter can carry a tune, and I even found myself shushing her singing. It had to be intentionally annoying. A plot against me. Nobody does this sort of thing, unless they’re torturing Taliban prisoners. And then Ryker used the back of my seat like a karate sparring partner – kicking, pushing, punching. I thought I was going to be ejected from the Jeep at one point.

“You can’t be that loud while I’m driving,” I said.

 “I need to concentrate because of the snow,”  I said.

“Stop,” I said.

 “No,” I said.

 “Did you hear me???” ” I said.  

“I said CUT IT OUT!,” I said.

 “Stop it,” I said.

“ I said NO!” I said.

See how I tried to be polite at first, and then my explanations morphed into one-word commands. None of it got their attention. It was like the sight of snow this morning put them in an adrenaline-charged trance that prevented them from hearing my voice.

I was just about to give up when Abby began repeating everything Ryker said, or should I said screamed.

“Who are these obnoxious children?” I asked myself. What set them off? Some days they are quiet (really, I swear) and other days I just can’t reach them. They were too far gone. I was pulling into the school and thinking about how completely annoying this echo game is – so much so that doesn’t it bother them? I wondered. And then I remembered. I used to do it with my sisters. It must have driven my mother crazy.

And yet, she lives on and still loves us.

Of course, I love my children even still. I actually smiled about it as I pulled out of the school parking lot (mostly because I realized I dodged a bullet of 40 minutes of child torture, as traffic was backed up for a mile). And if the superintendent would have called 10 minutes later to cancel school, my smile would have turned upside down. This morning, I just needed to go to work and get away. “Today, you’re somebody else’s problem.” Yes, I really thought that. Sue me! Tonight, I’ll snuggle up with them, and they never have to know I was moments away from stopping the car and whooping them. (As if!) Besides, I was actually fantasizing about a snow day filled with sledding, snowball fights and hot chocolate by 10 a.m.

What you do when you kick off your shoe in soccer

I could not resist sharing this string of photos, even though it's not of my own family. It is, however, of my friend's daughter Addi who is practically like family. I think for that reason, it's OK. Plus, I asked her mom, or rather told her I was going to. The reason I love these photos SO much is because they just sum up Addi. Everything about her personality can be read in the images like a book. But since you don't know Addi, I'll do my best to tell you what's on her mind. I missed the first shot where Addi was kicking toward the ball and her shoe flung off. 

Thank goodness. A distraction from this game. 

 I'll need to put this shoe back on, but not right away. 

I'll walk over here a bit, not because it's out of the way of the play, but because this is a better angle so everyone can see me. 

This looks good. 

I can't get these on by myself, but I'm not letting on right here. Besides, I can probably figure it out if I have to. I'll give it a whirl. 

Ah, yes, my coach noticed there was a damsel in distress. It's good someone is paying attention around here. 

"Thank you."

OK, Addi's mom can tell me if I even got close. :-)  She's one of my favorite people to photograph, or I should say children. I love kids who have such a big personality that you can see it in all they do. Interesting kids, after all, will turn out to be interesting adults. 

Not just another blog

I've been toying with this idea for a blog that is ADHD specific, because it's such a HUGE part of our family identity. And because it's so often misunderstood. And because I'm tired of all the "self-help" ADHD blogs, and I wanted something that was real and sometimes -- or mostly -- funny. Of course, my first entry isn't humorous exactly. Except that families with ADHD children will probably snicker at a few parts. Abby is funny, and I think her ADHD makes her less afraid to express her silly side. In fact, she's wanted her own blog for a long time. She finally decided on the topic and name: Super Silly Stuff. I love that. I love that she looks at the world through rose-colored glasses. She always sees the best in everyone, and she's super compassionate. Except you wouldn't know it at first glance because she can come off as cold and distant (the distracted) or just plain undisciplined (the hyperactive). But to know her is to love her, and I know this is true of lots of ADHD children and adults. If we are patient enough to get to know them, because these relationships take time not to mention every single fruit of the spirit you can muster.

Most of the people who read my blog are close friends and family. I'm sharing this blog about Abby here in the hopes you will share it with others who might be dealing with this or similar neurological disorders. What I ask in return is your respect for Abby -- because me writing about her isn't embarrassing but talking about her ADHD is, so please out of respect for her, do not share these stories with her peers. :-)

And, this blog is very, very new, so it doesn't have much personality. Bear with me!

http://myadhddaughter.blogspot.com/