Why I changed my mind about Facebook and birthdays

I feel a tad bit embarrassed. OK, I admit that I’m flat-out ashamed of myself. I can’t even face you right now!

Somewhere between my Facebook “fast” of 2011 and our longest ever summer vacation and Dan’s hospitalization and a long list of other reasons why I was disconnected from the online social arena, I made a decision that I repeated to myself like a pathetic broken record all year. (Some of you have no idea what a record is, do you? Bad analogy. Sorry.) 

I decided I would no longer wish friends Happy Birthday – at least not via Facebook.

“It’s impersonal,” I told myself.

“Anyone can do it; it’s practically meaningless,” I argued.

“It’s a waste of time that I could be using in countless productive ways,” I said.

“I’ll tell my ‘real-life’ friends ‘Happy Birthday!’ when I see them. I might even send a card.”

That I could even convince myself of this last statement just proves I lie to myself. I can’t even remember what I commit to do as soon as I get home even two hours after I utter the words to someone. I don’t remember birthdays, except my children’s and husband’s and that’s only because the doctors' offices make you know these kinds of things when you call.

I’m extremely insensitive about things like birthdays and anniversaries because honestly they just never meant all that much to me. They are dates on the calendar, and my old introverted self doesn’t want the embarrassment of gifts or accolades. I know my loved ones love me, and that security is all I need. Or, at least I thought it was.

Recently I came to realize we all need encouragement now and again. It’s nice to know someone cares, and a birthday – or anniversary – can be (but doesn’t have to be…see, I still don’t want to be tied to dates!) a nice stopping point.

What is true is this:

·         I think about people often and the impact they’ve had on me. When I see them, I try to tell them. When I’m really motivated, I send a note.

·         I do my very best to send thank-you notes. When someone goes out of their way to do something special for me or my husband or kids, I want to acknowledge that.

·         I have a wonderful circle of friends and family who are encouraging and loving to me all year long.

·         My Facebook page made my day yesterday.

Yes, it’s true. I could not contain my smile when I woke up with the sun on Jan. 15 and there were 11 notifications on my Facebook account. By day’s end, more than 100 friends stopped by my page. And yes, some were short and sweet and didn’t take much effort. But for those few seconds, someone thought of me, and that feels nice, doesn’t it?

And then there were ones that just lifted my spirit and made me feel like I matter like this one:

“Happy birthday 'mom!' I'm so glad I'm  a part of your family now! :) … I love you! ... You are so supportive. I love it. ♥ by the way the cheesecake I made you is SO GOOD! ;) sorry you didn't get it today!”

And this one:

“Happy Birthday to my beautiful, talented sweet daughter. We love you very much and look forward to celebrating your birthday on the 29th.”

 

Oh, OK. It’s from my mom, so it probably shouldn’t count. But really, many of the people who stopped by and wished me Happy Birthday really mean something to me, even if I don't see them often. For instance, there was even a missionary friend from Africa who wrote “may the Lord continue to bless you.”

 

Yes, how true. I have been so blessed. Because of all of you. So, thank you. And expect me to write on your wall this year. I’m so sorry I was selfish and thoughtless in 2011.

 

My goal this year is to be more like my dear, sweet, encouraging friend Jill, who instead of sending out a “stock” birthday card mailed me a little note card with two of the sweetest sentences anyone has ever said about me. It’s hanging on my fridge. I may never take it down, except to frame it. It’s so nice and thoughtful, and while it didn’t take much effort, it meant A LOT. 

 

Yes, a birthday can be a good stopping point to slow down for two minutes and think about what that person REALLY means to you and then tell them. Who knows if you’ll ever get the chance again. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all!