Happiness delivered -- YES, please!

This surprise package showed up at our house on Thursday -- if I have my day right. Pardon me if my head is mixing up dates. As if the holiday season isn't sprinkled with enough insanity, ours was doubly crazy with Dan's health. So, he got this package from my friend Jill, who just might be the most thoughtful person on the planet. And I love that about her, despite my inability to reciprocate her thoughtfulness, she still does all these wonderfully nice things for us! 

What an unexpected surprise from Henry & David -- never heard of these guys before -- but yum, yum. Take a peek at what was inside this gorgeous box! 

I love fancy, gorgeous, intentional packaging. This is the outside of the box. How beautiful! And if this bright red doesn't brighten your spirits and get you in the mood for the holidays, check your pulse! Happiness delivered? Well, let's see....

Pears -- that's how this company got its start. What a great idea to share the story right on the packaging. More beautiful designs, festive colors. This package has it going on! And the pears tasted great!

Havarti cheese -- never heard of it, but it too was wonderful. Yummy!! Soft, mild and melted in my mouth. I think I need some more....STAT! 

Salami -- very peppery. Different, unique and delivered just like everything else! 

Happiness delivered? Well, yes indeed. I think it just was. Thank you very much Jill Morino and Henry & David. Never heard of the latter, but as soon as I find someone to pay it forward to, they'll be getting Henry & David. 

We haven't tried the pepper and onion relish, but it turns out my sister HAS heard of Henry & David. She had already told me about this relish she was bringing to Christmas -- a pineapple jalapeno or something. OMG. I couldn't keep the Fritos out of that stuff. Really. Really. Amazing. 

Another adorable detail on the packaging. The marketing department needs a big kudos here. I knew this was something special when we opened it up!

This is how big the box was -- nearly the width of our dining room table. (Jill spares no expense!) That's Dan reading his Kindle on the other end of the table. Did I mention it also contained mouth-watering chocolates and chocolate-covered popcorn, plus the most simple looking cookies that were deceptively delicious. Happiness delivered. Yes. Yes. Thank you very much! 

Our Chrismas letter, gulp!

Editor's note: This letter didn't get sent out, because I didn't get it copied quickly enough and then many of my cards didn't get sent out either. If you didn't get one, it's not 'cause we don't like you. Life got crazier than normal in December and needless to say, there's been no baking or wrapping either. So, please enjoy this letter and maybe -- or maybe not -- the card you get in January. (I'm thinking of scratching out the 2011 for next year's card!)

Dear friends and family,


I cannot believe I’m doing it – the dreaded Christmas form letter. I secretly swore to myself for years I’d never write one, even though I also privately love reading the ones I receive. For me to do it seemed impersonal, as if I should be telling you these things face-to-face. And indeed. I should.

I cannot believe how busy the kids keep us, leading to exhausting weekends and missed family gatherings. Missed chances to share these things face-to-face. Next year, I’m hoping I will not have to resort to another of these letters, but something tells me we’ll be in for more of the same despite our activity limits with the kids. Also, it was nice to look back on a year that passed so quickly and see that we did – thankfully – accomplish a few things. Here are the highlights from 2011:

Abby just turned 9, which was hard enough, and then Dan reminded her it will be double digits next year. Geez! Feed them and blink – they sure do grow up quickly! Abby tried basketball in the winter, softball in the summer and now she’s playing indoor soccer. I think she’s found her niche – it’s fast paced, forcing her constant attention for an hour. She loves it, and she’s very good! She even got the only goal in the last game of the first session! After six months of discussions and prayer, Abby got baptized in October by Dan. Needless to say, that was quite emotional! She’s still playing piano and singing at church, while crafting nonstop at home. Her fashion sense has continued developing at a rapid, neck-break rate, amusing the teachers and delighting her classmates with mismatched, layered clothing that is often rather unexpected – sometimes even for us! It was a rough start to the school year for her, not so much academically, but socially and emotionally. After meeting with the social worker and her teacher at school, we developed some goals at home and tweaked her ADHD meds. She couldn’t be doing better now. Abby is even leading the third grade in reading points at her school!

Speaking of reading, Ryker still cannot get enough of books. He breezed through the Harry Potter series that he got for Christmas last year (as did Abby), and his new infatuation is Captain Underpants. Not sure that’s a move in the right direction, but he loves reading so much that he wants to be a publisher when he grows up! He played football again this year and despite being perhaps the youngest player on the team, he did great. He’s hoping to play both offense and defense in the third grade. Right now, he’s playing on a competitive basketball team where they get points for more than just baskets. They must pass and rebound, etc. and I’m proud that he’s become a much better team player because of it. He surprised his coach and parents with an awesome pre-game prayer at a recent basketball game. Ryker played baseball last summer and every chance he gets in the backyard. He LOVES the Cardinals and plays his way through the lineup with his dad (or mom or Abby, depending on who’s available and willing) nearly every night. Both kids enjoyed watching the World Champion Cardinals parade in downtown St. Louis this fall.

Dan started the year with a bad back that got worse as the year wore on. A herniated disc treated with pain medication didn’t seem to improve after several months. Three spinal epidurals and several rounds of physical therapy have given him much relief, but it is definitely not completely restored. And if you know Dan, the year wouldn’t be complete without a project or two or twelve. He built a playhouse for the kids, a loft bed for Ryker and renovated our great room. He ripped out a fireplace (so we can remodel our bathroom on the adjacent wall next) and replaced flooring in the main living area of the house. The master bath has been demolished, so we’re all sharing one bathroom – like the good ‘ole days! We feel very lucky to have Dan around to make our house a home! (A late add-on, most of you know, Dan suffered a sudden bout of pneumonia this week and was hospitalized in ICU. A scary few hours in the Emergency Room as they tried to stabilize him from the effects of septic shock. Once in shock, a minority of patients survive. Those who do, often have organ or tissue damage. Dan seems to be recovering quite well—praise God! What a whirlwind, but it’s been a reminder of how blessed we are with prayers and offers of help from our amazing group of friends and family.) Dan and I both helped lead high school small groups this fall and will do so again in the spring.

I attended Christ in Youth in the summer with our high schoolers, which was amazing! I feel deprived that I didn’t go as a teenager. God is doing pretty awesome stuff in the lives of kids in our community, and I can’t help but want to be a part of it. If you would have told me I would be doing this a decade ago, I would have laughed! After careful consideration, I went from being a per diem employee to a full-time manager at the hospital in Lincoln. I figured it couldn’t be nearly as intense as the 50-60 hour work weeks I had in January through the end of March, when the new hospital opened. I’m now the manager of marketing and communication for Abraham Lincoln Memorial Hospital – my first 9-5 full-time gig since Abby was 9 months old. We’re so grateful for what my position has provided for our family – not just financially but also in friendships. And having worked around the kids’ schedules for this long, being part of their preschool and early school schedules? What a blessing that we could invest in their lives that way. It’s something I’ll always treasure! I’m still taking portraits, but strangely, there aren’t many people clamoring for them. A chapter closing? Look for more writing, though, next year, as I intend to spend more of my free time improving my blog and expressing my creativity with a pen. I hope you’ll follow along!

I should also mention the big highlight of the year was the kids’ first flight. We spent 10 days in Florida with Dan’s parents. We experienced Disney with virtually no lines or waiting (thanks to my friend suggesting Tour Guide Mike) and then surprised the kids with a day at Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal. We finished up our trip with a few days at the beach with extended family. It was truly a dream vacation!

2011 might have had its share of ups and downs, but boy, we sure feel blessed, mostly because of our wonderful family, friends and church family! Even though we don’t get to see you as much as we’d like, we do think of you often and are so glad you’re in our lives.

Merry Christmas with much love from the Denneys

Dan survived pneumonia and sepsis -- and his first pedicure

My husband is alive and well, relatively unscathed from his recent bout of pneumonia with sepsis.


Sepsis – a word I had heard before but hadn’t given much consideration to. I knew it was serious. I’d heard of septic shock. I knew it was or was related to an infection. And that’s where my knowledge stopped.

There’s a push for more education about sepsis to the general public, because when its signs are recognized, it can be more effectively treated. The damaging side effects of this oft-deadly disease can be halted. Death might be avoided. If only we would all be more aware of how it presents itself.

We didn’t see it coming.

I hope by sharing our story, maybe someone else can be helped. Perhaps it could be you, because sepsis isn’t something that attacks the elderly or those with weak immune symptoms. Anyone can be affected – from a serious infection or even from a small cut.

Dan fell ill quickly. So quickly that the co-worker he was talking to literally saw the sickness in him come across in his face, his expression. He sent me a text at noon on Monday that he was going home, felt nauseated. He couldn’t express in words how he felt, but he knew something wasn’t right.

Within a few hours, he had a high fever – 103. And he was vomiting a lot. So we assumed it was a run-of-the-mill stomach virus.

I decided I would take the kids out to dinner, giving him privacy and quiet for resting. I checked in on him. He was very hot and weak. But we still thought it was a stomach virus.

Later that evening, Dan noticed there was blood when he vomited. He wasn’t sure if he was coughing it up or if it was in his vomit. He hadn’t really had a cough prior to that day, but coughing up blood is definitely something you want to take seriously.

He began to feel even weaker – so much so that he couldn’t put on his clothes. And while the fever was gone, he was still coughing up blood and just didn’t feel “right.” When he realized I was awake at 4 a.m., he told me what was going on. He called his dad to come sit with the kids so I could take him to Memorial.

His blood pressure was low when we arrived – 93/54 or something. Since Dan’s typically runs a tad bit high, this seemed unusual to me. They immediately put him in a wheelchair and took him to a room.

Within 20 minutes, they had done an EKG and X-ray, drawn blood for lab work, started an IV. Not much longer and he had an antibiotic and pain medication. Immediately they suspected pneumonia, which seemed strange. Dan, a life-long asthmatic on maintenance medications, has had that twice before but not with these types of symptoms. Surely we would have noticed if we thought it was his lungs!

We hadn’t been there an hour, and Dan’s blood pressure dropped below 90 on top. Alarms started sounding, and they had to delay the CT they ordered. He couldn’t have that test done until he was stabilized. That took three and a half hours.

His blood pressure wouldn’t budge out of the 70s. It dipped to 70/41 and nothing they tried – fluids, tipping his feet up higher than his head and discontinuing the pain medication – worked. The doctor finally ordered a vasopressor, medication to constrict the blood vessels. Even that didn’t do the trick.

Somewhere in that timeframe, I sent out a couple texts for people to pray (in addition to using my phone to google about the dangers of low blood pressure…what? Like you wouldn’t!). Word spread quickly around our church, and people were praying specifically for Dan’s blood pressure to come up. I really believe in the power of prayer, and since nothing else had worked, I’m sure it was prayer that helped him “get over the hump.”

He finally got the CT scan right before being admitted in ICU. His whole left lung was filled with infection. So once they were able to isolate what it was, they could start the right mix of antiobiotics.

Because of all the wonderful clinicians at Memorial, all the right things were done that minimized the risk factors for Dan. Sepsis treatment begins with broad-spectrum antibiotics (they did this immediately), IV fluids to maintain blood pressure (he had six liters in the emergency department alone!) and oxygen, which he clearly needed since as soon as he pulled it off his face, his blood oxygen immediately dropped and sounded his alarm.

So what – exactly – is sepsis? According to Wed MD, sepsis is a serious medical condition caused by the body’s overwhelming immune response to infection. Chemicals released into the blood to fight infection trigger widespread inflammation.

“Bacterial infections are the most common cause of sepsis. However, sepsis can also be caused by other infections. The infection can begin anywhere bacteria or other infectious agents can enter the body. It can result from something as seemingly harmless as a scraped knee or nicked cuticle or from a more serious medical problem such as appendicitis, pneumonia, meningitis, or a urinary tract infection,” according to Web MD.

A quick diagnosis is really key to fighting sepsis, and that’s why it’s so important that more people understand what it is so they can recognize it. I read one story of a nurse who didn’t see it among her own symptoms and neither did the health care workers. They sent her home from the emergency room only to call her back in when lab workups came back positive. By then, she lost feelings in her hands in feet. The mother of two ended up with multiple amputations.

But she’s among the lucky ones. According to Web MD and other sources, between 60-70 percent of people who go into septic shock die. Of those who survive, many end up with organ and/or tissue damage.

Dan’s lungs may never be the same. His left lung was already scarred from two bouts of pneumonia. He’ll be more likely to get it again. But there is a vaccine that will keep it from killing him. And he walked away without any additional injuries after spending a week in the hospital.

I am so eternally grateful to God and to the nurses and doctors at Memorial for the work they did to save his life. My heart breaks, however, for those families who don’t experience such a positive outcome. Help others survive by passing along this story. You never know whose life you can help save!

P.S. I can't tell this story without mentioning that the day before, Abby and I gave each other Christmas pedicures at home. Not wanting to feel left out, Dan and Ryker painted each other's toes, too. So Dan spent a week in the hospital with red and green polish on his toes! If you know Dan, nothing could have delighted him more than to share that story with all the nurses and see them smile when they saw his feet.

Can brains triumph over beauty?

I heard an interesting story on NPR this morning that aroused the feminist in me. C’mon. You knew she was there.


A teenage girl protested a T-shirt sold by (maybe also created by) JC Penney that said “I’m too pretty for homework.” In five hours, the story of a circulating petition to remove it from the shelves was getting 400 tweets a minute. Ten hours after she first posted her opinion via social media, JC Penney ditched the shirt.

The story mentioned a few other instances of companies pulling similar shirts due to social media protests. (I think I’ve found a new reason to love Facebook and Twitter!) One that really ruffled my feathers was from Gymboree that stated something along the lines of “I’m smart like my dad and pretty like my mom.”

Sure, some people may laugh at these messages. And true, as a general rule we could lighten up a little. But the bottom line is they make the shirts because there is a market for them. We buy them and perpetuate the message that girls should desire beauty above all.

That makes me sad. Very sad. Because I have a daughter who happens to be creative, inventive, intelligent and so much more. Very recently she discovered that she can’t be president, because she looks at a placemat of Presidents in our home every day with 43 male faces on it. A girl as president? She deduced: “Not very likely so why bother?”

I hope it does, but I’m not optimistic at the moment. We live in a world that, interestingly enough, increasingly values the looks of women over her intellect, experience or accomplishments. It seems worse now than when I was a teen. In Lisa Bloom’s book, Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World, she reports that 15 to 18 percent of girls under 12 wear mascara, eyeliner and lipstick regularly; eating disorders are up and self-esteem is down; and 25 percent of young American women would rather win America's Next Top Model than the Nobel Peace Prize. "Even bright, successful college women say they'd rather be hot than smart."

I can understand why. Any woman who takes a risk and puts herself “out there” is subject to constant criticism. She will live her life under the microscope. But unlike men in the public eye, women are also examined and critiqued for their physicality.

Is it any wonder girls and women struggle with depression and general unhappiness. The very things they love – reading books, being a leader, generating ideas and being valued for accomplishments – aren’t even embraced by society.

It’s so hard to reinforce to girls that they need to ignore these messages of body type and beauty that are thrown in their faces from infancy on. My daughter told me the other day that she’s worried about having wrinkles when she’s in heaven. Wow. I can’t believe this is the kind of thing a 9-year-old girl feels she needs to contemplate.

I feel the need to remind her and all girls that they should see themselves as God sees them. The Lord says in 1 Samuel 16:7 “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

And what about the oh-so-intimidating Proverbs 31 woman? God’s illustration of an ideal woman. She works hard, takes care of her home, is respected. Her husband and children trust her. Her character is beautiful. Because she has her priorities in order and places God above all, she is revered. From verses 30 and 31, God reminds us that we should be aware of earthly values and how we rank them in our lives: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”

What I want my daughter to seek is the blessing of the Lord and her family, not the acceptance of her peers or the things society puts value on. I want her to protest the shirt that speaks of earthly beauty. I want you to join me and speak out against those messages. It’s not just a shirt. It’s a mindset that is stifling our girls and their potential to be the woman God wants them to be.

What can we do today to dispel the myths of beauty? How can we fight against the societal message that girls should chase physical attractiveness all their days? What will you do that will show one other girl or woman that we value one another for our inner beauty?

Mismatched socks and more

“Is today mismatched sock day?”


I cringed when I heard it. The innocent question of a dad to my dear, sweet Abby as she was on her way into the school. I was 30 feet away in my car, and in a moment, they disappeared inside the building. I said a prayer – like the one I say everyday – that this man wouldn’t destroy her sense of self-worth by expressing his opinion of her style.

My only daughter’s sense of fashion is … well. Um. It’s unique. VERY unique. Always has been. Mismatched socks are just the beginning. And honestly, hasn’t this father of an 8-year-old girl ever heard of the brand Little Miss Mismatched? Even Justice is selling packs of three not-quite-identical-but-color-coordinated socks.

But in our little farm town of 1,200, Abby is ahead of the curve – a trend setter. Perhaps. Though some of her other approaches to fashion might be more “out there” than her friends would dare attempt. Although she continually reaches for comfortable items – ie. ripped, torn, stained or shrinking – over practical. That kind of drives me nuts. I let her know. A lot.

As usual, she shrugs her shoulders as though I couldn’t possibly understand why wearing the same socks from two days ago, despite being unlaundered since, is perfectly OK. I – the mother who blissfully circles the cute coordinated ensembles in the Children’s Place fliers, which are oh-so-adorable! – simply don’t “get it.”

The very first time Abby put on something I deemed “questionable” was when she was 4. Jeans with a skirt pulled over them. She wore similar outfits daily. It was a logical solution to a new issue. In preschool, they played on the playground when the weather was appropriate. That included some chilly days, so the jeans-over-skirt look helped her stay warm and wear the only thing she really liked – skirts – such a blatantly obvious solution for a preschooler. Except she was the only one who thought of it.

That kind of creativity and problem solving for a 4-year-old made me think, "Who am I to mess with that kind of genius?"

Naturally, we got comments. The first ones were praise: “I think it’s so neat that you let her dress herself.” I felt good, perhaps even a sense of relief since other moms realized I couldn’t have possible come up with those styles on my own. Then came some sideways glances and flat-out criticisms, thankfully directed at me while she was still little.

This year is different. Abby is a third-grader. Peer groups are forming. Peer pressure is rearing its ugly little head. To top it off, this fall she adopted a new look: a tank top over long sleeves. Shorts over leggings. Tall mismatched socks and funky high top tennis shoes.

“Um. Abby,” I started out a conversation with her the first day she dressed this way, unsure of how to proceed in a way that wouldn’t make her think I was judging her. “It’s possible if you wear that some of your classmates will make fun of you. Kids can be cruel, you know.”

“I know, mom,” she answered flippantly. “I really don’t care.”

That a girl! I thought.

Then a few weeks later, Abby brought it to my attention that teachers stopped by her room frequently to check out her outfit of the day. Oh. My. Gosh. I had a moment. And shame on me! It wasn’t the kind of moment where I was concerned the teachers might be mocking her, but the horrible kind when I wondered what they thought of ME – the mother of “that girl.”

It didn’t take long for shame and guilt to overcome me. God’s good at putting me in my place. And maybe he wanted me to know that not just over Abby’s fashion sense but over my life in general, I was putting too much emphasis and energy into what other people think of me. It was one of those eye-opening reminders I very much needed. As I reflected on the school year thus far, I realized I had indeed been fretting relentlessly over how others perceive me. Of course, I know better but wasn’t wise enough to realize that ugly sin was dancing in my subconscious.

Abby later shared with me that all the kids in her class think she’s cool because of how she dresses. That makes her very happy. It occurred to me that it’s one way she sets herself apart from the crowd, and as she’s become more introverted, I think it’s her way of expressing herself and starting conversations. She truly loves being unique in a world where women and girls are socially trained and pressured by the media to conform to the world’s standard of beauty.

There is only one standard for Abby: being herself. She never attempts to dress like anyone else or act like anyone else -- famous or otherwise. So unlike my young (and truth be told, current) self. And so, how awesome is she? How much can I learn from my lovely little 9-year-old? How much can she teach others?

Mostly though I pray she never loses her sense of style, which is – I believe – a very core part of her identity, an identity I very much adore.