Why do turtles have to die?

This is my boy. Yep, he's sucking his thumb back there behind Lucy (Isn't she adorable?). If you've met him, you've seen him do it. If he attempts to curb this habit, then he chews on his shirt -- as in big giant holes in minutes. I'm OK with him sucking his thumb. It's cheaper than buying a shirt for every day of his life, especially since we practically need a new pair of jeans after every two wears. I love him to pieces, regardless of what he might say otherwise! The story below is one of a million and one reasons I love him. 

“I love my son.” I don’t say it enough; can one possibly say that enough?

Unlike my daughter who can be emotionally detached from certain worldly injustices, my son possesses a heart and soul much like mine. He feels compassion for others at a deep level; he can’t bear to watch another person – or even a creature for that matter – in pain, even in a fictional movie.

And he’ll let us know! As he did during our recent viewing of “Turtle: The Incredible Journey.”

Abby watched with fascination as baby loggerhead turtles dug upward through their sandy nests for three days then attempted the treacherous journey to the sea 40 meters away, many getting plucked away by predators. “Look, the crab’s going to eat that one,” she said, intently engaged in the mysteries of real beach life unraveling on the screen in front of her.

That simply further infuriated her brother, who was already shouting at this point that we MUST turn off the documentary that he chose between two Saturday night movie picks.

Why. Writhing in anger, Ryker wanted to know why would anyone film or watch this? He choked back tears, yelling instead of crying in his utter frustration. Somehow after 7 years, it's no longer acceptable for him to cry. I believe he thinks if we turn it off, it will be easier for him to turn off the tears.

I told him it was OK.(Boys need to know that.) It’s fine to cry when you’re angry or sad. It’s OK to be emotionally moved by something. I also noted that the turtles being eaten was all part of God’s plan because otherwise our planet would be invaded by these suckers.

In a way, that was part of the documentary’s message. The filmmakers wanted us to understand just how many odds the loggerhead turtle had to overcome in order to make it back to that same beach in 20 years and lay her own eggs. In fact, the film said only 1 in 10,000 does.

It was bittersweet when my baby boy, who ultimately gave the film a chance, crashed out on my lap about halfway through. I was sad that he didn’t get to see the part where the loggerhead, fully mature, snacked on a crunchy crab on the floor of the Caribbean Sea. (Retaliation for her brother's untimely death?)

But I pondered – as this 7-year-old’s frame stretched the length of my body, our legs intertwined – how many more times in my life would I be able to cherish a moment like this?

I love that he’s as emotionally connected as he is intellectually strong and athletically gifted. I couldn’t be more proud of him and the wonderful man I know he’ll someday become.

I just hope, unlike his mom, he doesn’t cry at the emotional climax of every movie – even cartoons and (gulp) some commercials. The movie we saw the night before comes to mind (spoiler alert!), the part where the mom gentle sets her life-saving helmet on her son’s head after his helmet shatters at the predictable ending of the subpar “Mars Needs Moms.”

If he’d seen the rogue tear ruefully rolling down my check that I strategically covered behind a pillow, Ryker would probably have uttered the words, “Come on, Amy. You’re crying? That’s just ridiculous.”

Sometimes, it is. And that's OK, too.

In between

I subscribe to Seth Godin's blog, but after hearing of his spiritual beliefs, I've mostly demoted him to background noise. But I clicked on the RSS today and read this short entry:

"We're hoping to succeed; we're okay with failure. We just don't want to land in between."

--David Chang

He's serious. Lots of people say this, but few are willing to put themselves at risk, which destroys the likelihood of success and dramatically increases the chance of in between.

This made me wonder, what if Albert Einstein or Mother Teresa had been told not to bother trying because not many people make it to the level of success they ultimately achieved? What if we told our children that reaching for their hearts' desires is too risky because they're statistically likely to fail. What if we didn't need to tell our children that because they see it reflected in our own actions? How many of us are living "in between" -- an uncomfortable place of dissatisfaction and contrived happiness because we're too afraid to have faith in something bigger that seems against the odds? 

The sermon preached at my church this morning was a great reminder of what should motivate us in life, and if we live this lifestyle, truly live it, we'll experience failure and success. That's because, as Ken illustrated with the story of Abraham obeying God in taking Isaac to the alter as a living sacrifice, our life of worship will be: 

* Tried and Tested. (Genesis 22: 1)

* Come with a Cost. (22:2)

* Ordered by Obedience. (22:3,4)

* Fueled by Faith. (22:5-10)

* Secured by God's Sight. (22:11-14)

No, a lifestyle of worship isn't easy. It certainly requires risk but the difference between Godin's illustration and God's story is that Christians can count on faith, because the truth is God WILL provide. Yes, living in between is way too uncomfortable; it means I'm not willing to risk failure and I don't have faith. And that's hardly a life worth living!

Please pray for me as I seek God's voice for a decision in my life. He's calling me to be obedient. Tune in to hear how I respond to God's calling. Big changes (risks) are coming...I hope!

What I liked about Christmas 2011

So, this took long enough. The highlights from Christmas in images only a month later: 

My middle sister's surprise gift. It was PERFECT! We each got a bottle aptly named after our personality trait. Mine, on the left, is smarty pants. :) I might make it into a vase if I ever drink it. Still in the fridge! 

My dad didn't disappoint...he had his usual mid-day nap. Traditions. That's why we like the holidays!

It was nice enough out for the kids to play tag outside at Mema and Papa's house Monday. 

Of course, they all got sleds and really wanted to use them. But the lack of snow certainly didn't stop them. 

The poor 13-year-old cousin had the bulk of the work pushing everyone down the hill. 

Dan always has some trick up his sleeve. This year, he wrapped the kids' iPod nanos in giant boxes to throw them off!

My sister Jamie and her husband Teddy were home for three days from Germany. 

And of course, the No. 1 reason Christmas 2011 was so great....Dan got all the gifts. Wait, no, those weren't his. We were all glad he dodged a bullet, recovered from sepsis and was healthy enough to be home from the hospital.

Amen.

The Muppets and my pony

We like the Muppets. We saw the movie on opening afternoon -- Abby's birthday. It was a celebration of sorts. Then three weeks later Dan ended up in the ICU with the same condition that killed Muppets creator Jim Henson. That's just a weird random fact. 


The point of this story, or blog post is really how kids (and sometimes adults. OK. Fine. Me.)... It's interesting how kids and myself sing our own made-up lyrics when we don't really hear or understand what's being sung. 


Usually this is adorable, except when I'm doing this. Only Dan thinks it's adorable, and he says this exclusively because it was written into our marriage vows. 


Anyway, a certain aunt from Germany bought Ryker the Muppets movie soundtrack for Christmas; Turns out to be a great family gift. We've been jamming to that thing ever since! It's definitely the kind of music that both children and adults of my generation can appreciate. In fact, it led us to semi-introduce our kids to Nirvana. (A story for another day.) 


The Muppets soundtrack is what led me to google "Marconi" one day while we were in the car listening to the rock 'n' roll classic "We Built This City." Dan earnestly wanted to know who Marconi was, as in "Marconi plays the mamba." Who is this Marconi and why does he want to play the mamba so badly. So I looked it up on my iPhone. (Exactly how did we live without instant access to the world at our fingertips via 3G?) 


This is what I found, and I'm quoting Wikipedia. Not because I think it's authoritative, but because it was the first thing that popped up on my search. "Marconi is often credited as the inventor of radio, and indeed he shared the 1909 Nobel Prize in Physics with Karl Ferdinand Braun 'in recognition of their contributions to the development of wireless telegraphy.'"


Geez. I felt kinda stupid after that. Of course Marconi would be playing the mamba. Why wouldn't he? 


Well, quite possibly because my kids (and maybe me. OK. Me, too.) thought that "my pony" was playing the mamba. Marconi. My pony. Please tell me you see how the mistake can be made! And really that makes for a much more interesting mental image. Don't you think? Please tell me you agree. My poor delicate ego couldn't handle it any other way. 


Now, you MUST share. What lyrics have you misunderstood? I mean your kids...what lyrics have your kids misunderstood? Kindly comment below so I don't feel so silly!

A day of fun!

I probably shouldn't admit this, but these photos are OLD. Well, not terribly, and I am blogging darn it. The fact that I'm blogging stuff from three weeks ago doesn't matter to me yet! These are photos from a day at the Children's Museum in Decatur -- an awesome place where you can easily spend half a day. It was the last day of Christmas break. I took the day off work because it was Dan's first day back to work since his illness Dec. 12. He wasn't even close to 100 percent when he returned to work and he wasn't able to do much with the kids -- outside of trips to the library -- while he was home with them. So we took a day to get out of the house and have some fun, leave our troubles behind. We hijacked some friends who desperately needed a day, too. Both of us moms have to-do lists that drop to the floor, so we didn't really have the time. But you know, if we wanted to wait until we have the time, we'd sadly have empty houses. We HAVE to take days like these and leave our stacks of work untouched until the kids are in bed.

I love this pic of my two munchkins playing in the bubbles, and I loved it best in black and white. 

They played here for a long time, especially Abby. She loved the mail room and bank, sorting and delivering mail and money. 

Olivia's tradition. Can you see both images of her? 

Kenneth at the drive-up window at the bank. 

My kids are goofy -- big surprise!

Ryker as the patient. Later, I had to be the patient. I went in with a stomach ache and ended up with a broken arm, AND I gave birth to a baby. 

Olivia shows an x-ray to Ryker. 

LOVE THIS PHOTO! 

I hung with these two for quite a while, and they played very well together. I think Ryker is probably that way with most kids. He's SO GOOD with younger kids, not that Olivia is much younger. He wants a baby brother -- or sister -- so badly. I know he'd be a great big brother. But our hands feel so full already! I don't know how families do it, especially when they have special needs kids. I'm exhausted thinking about it. 

Speaking of exhausted, we took a wee detour after the museum to go through the Starbucks drive-through. Not only for momma but the kiddos, too! Don't worry--they don't drink caffeine!

It was great to have this day, and I hope we can squeeze in many others this year. It's as good for me as it is for them. What are some fun day trips that you have with your kids? Share some ideas so we'll know where to go next time!

Our 'scary' New Year's Eve dinner

So, for New Year's Eve we had a late lunch at Kiku in Springfield, which was AWESOME! Ryker, in his usual role, was scared -- of the fire and knives -- because of the stories his sister told. She'd been there before. I asked him in this video why, and he is playing the tough guy routine. As you can see, like most things that cause him anxiety (football, movies, soccer, amusement park rides), he ended up loving it! We go through this every time he has a fear. You'd think he'd trust us by now! Dan, by the way, loved it. He's been planning a return trip ever since, so if you haven't been, hit us up and we'll be glad to go with you! 

We should all be a little more like Dr. King (& Jesus)

I have always felt honored to that my birthday happens to fall on the same day as the birth of one of America’s great heroes – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. You know, ‘cause it’s really all about me.

Actually, I relate to him because I think he is often misunderstood – at least sometimes by some people. Because frequently his name is found in sentences with the word “fight.” As in, “Martin Luther King Jr. fought for civil rights.” It’s right there on Wikipedia, I tell ya.

Well, I suppose he did. But I take issue with the choice of verb because even though I didn’t know him personally, I don’t think Dr. King was a fightin’ kind of man. Sure, he rallied, protested and led others to do so. But he encouraged everyone to do so without using violence. Remember…he won a Noble PEACE Prize. I think sometimes people invoke his name when they are using methods of protest of which he would not condone. Plus, since a lot of violence was employed against him, I think sometimes people get confused and think he was mixed up in that. He wasn't.

I thought today was the perfect occasion for me to reflect on how Dr. King changed the world for me and for my children. And what is the relevance now, in 2012?

King was the epitome of peace. He believed in tapping into our individual strengths such as the use of intellect and voice, not to mention the power of collective boycotting.  Dr. King knew how to make a stand effectively for what he believed in.

And he knew the power that just one person could have. He believed in himself. While other African Americans (and sympathetic white folks) lived in an era full of racial injustices, they were either so brainwashed they accepted the injustices as reality or they felt powerless to overcome them. Not King. “Ultimately a genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus, but a molder of consensus."

He personally connected himself to the cause. "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." And he related that dream to all he did. In other words, he treated ALL people just the way he said he wanted to be treated  --  by the content of their character.

King was arrested for sit-ins, stabbed, abused and hated. He had many enemies – the Ku Klux Klan among them. His house was fire-bombed and he was assassinated at the age of 39. Through it all, I’m quite certain he even loved some people whose very characters were unlovable. Because his actions were motivated by love. How powerful is that?

His spoken words, later memorialized after his death: “If any of you are around when I have to meet my day, I don’t want a long funeral. And if you get somebody to deliver the eulogy, tell them not to talk too long…. Tell them not to mention that I have a Nobel Peace Prize, that isn’t important. Tell them not to mention that I have three or four hundred other awards, that’s not important…. I’d like somebody to mention that day, that Martin Luther King Jr. tried to give his life serving others. I’d like for somebody to say that day, that Martin Luther King Jr. tried to love somebody…. I want you to say that I tried to love and serve humanity.”

What is his relevance today? What do I want my kids to know on this national holiday?

·          It’s OK to go against what society views as right or good, especially if it isn’t backed up Biblically. 

·          One person can make a difference.

·          Do good things because they are the right things to do, not for accolades or awards.

·          Be motivated by love, plus all the other fruits of the spirit that Dr. King also seemed to employ – peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Did I forget any?

·          Be like Jesus, who summed up the commandments to this: “Love God and love people.”

·          Accept and love people for who they are, not how they look.

Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy is more than just prizes, the Civil Rights Amendment and speeches. It was how he lived his life and touched the lives of those around him. It makes me wonder, how can I make my legacy better? How can I help my children to understand that the way they act daily is their living testimony?

Why I changed my mind about Facebook and birthdays

I feel a tad bit embarrassed. OK, I admit that I’m flat-out ashamed of myself. I can’t even face you right now!

Somewhere between my Facebook “fast” of 2011 and our longest ever summer vacation and Dan’s hospitalization and a long list of other reasons why I was disconnected from the online social arena, I made a decision that I repeated to myself like a pathetic broken record all year. (Some of you have no idea what a record is, do you? Bad analogy. Sorry.) 

I decided I would no longer wish friends Happy Birthday – at least not via Facebook.

“It’s impersonal,” I told myself.

“Anyone can do it; it’s practically meaningless,” I argued.

“It’s a waste of time that I could be using in countless productive ways,” I said.

“I’ll tell my ‘real-life’ friends ‘Happy Birthday!’ when I see them. I might even send a card.”

That I could even convince myself of this last statement just proves I lie to myself. I can’t even remember what I commit to do as soon as I get home even two hours after I utter the words to someone. I don’t remember birthdays, except my children’s and husband’s and that’s only because the doctors' offices make you know these kinds of things when you call.

I’m extremely insensitive about things like birthdays and anniversaries because honestly they just never meant all that much to me. They are dates on the calendar, and my old introverted self doesn’t want the embarrassment of gifts or accolades. I know my loved ones love me, and that security is all I need. Or, at least I thought it was.

Recently I came to realize we all need encouragement now and again. It’s nice to know someone cares, and a birthday – or anniversary – can be (but doesn’t have to be…see, I still don’t want to be tied to dates!) a nice stopping point.

What is true is this:

·         I think about people often and the impact they’ve had on me. When I see them, I try to tell them. When I’m really motivated, I send a note.

·         I do my very best to send thank-you notes. When someone goes out of their way to do something special for me or my husband or kids, I want to acknowledge that.

·         I have a wonderful circle of friends and family who are encouraging and loving to me all year long.

·         My Facebook page made my day yesterday.

Yes, it’s true. I could not contain my smile when I woke up with the sun on Jan. 15 and there were 11 notifications on my Facebook account. By day’s end, more than 100 friends stopped by my page. And yes, some were short and sweet and didn’t take much effort. But for those few seconds, someone thought of me, and that feels nice, doesn’t it?

And then there were ones that just lifted my spirit and made me feel like I matter like this one:

“Happy birthday 'mom!' I'm so glad I'm  a part of your family now! :) … I love you! ... You are so supportive. I love it. ♥ by the way the cheesecake I made you is SO GOOD! ;) sorry you didn't get it today!”

And this one:

“Happy Birthday to my beautiful, talented sweet daughter. We love you very much and look forward to celebrating your birthday on the 29th.”

 

Oh, OK. It’s from my mom, so it probably shouldn’t count. But really, many of the people who stopped by and wished me Happy Birthday really mean something to me, even if I don't see them often. For instance, there was even a missionary friend from Africa who wrote “may the Lord continue to bless you.”

 

Yes, how true. I have been so blessed. Because of all of you. So, thank you. And expect me to write on your wall this year. I’m so sorry I was selfish and thoughtless in 2011.

 

My goal this year is to be more like my dear, sweet, encouraging friend Jill, who instead of sending out a “stock” birthday card mailed me a little note card with two of the sweetest sentences anyone has ever said about me. It’s hanging on my fridge. I may never take it down, except to frame it. It’s so nice and thoughtful, and while it didn’t take much effort, it meant A LOT. 

 

Yes, a birthday can be a good stopping point to slow down for two minutes and think about what that person REALLY means to you and then tell them. Who knows if you’ll ever get the chance again. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all!

 

 

Our small sledding excursion

Friday I wanted to stay and get a photo of a nurse at the hospital who works nights, so to break up my day, Dan brought the kids (who had a snow day) to Lincoln to go sledding and have dinner together. It was the second time getting to use the sleds the kids got from Mema and Papa for Christmas, but the first time using them in actual snow. (More to come about the first sledding later this week!) 

The first one down the hill: Mommy!! Abby wasn't thrilled when I grabbed her sled but then she gave me a push, or six to get going. It wasn't that I didn't weigh enough; it was barely a hill!

Once they made a couple "paths" with their sleds, they used those for a fast ride down the bunny slope. It was definitely fast enough for them!

Whee!!

Abby took a break from sledding to make a snow angel. She's using her foot to put finishing touches on her art. 

The kids didn't need a push, but a good shove would make them fly down the hill, across the park road and into a little catch basin. 

Abby gets a push!

My little angel. 

My little....other angel. :-) 

The slave labor. 

Me and Ryker trying a tandem ride. He loved it!

There were deer ALL OVER as we were leaving. What a great family evening!

The longest 10-minute ride...ever!

I love my children. Really, I do. I feel the need to repeat that: I LOVE my children. I would do anything for them. Throw myself under a bus, take their place in any physical pain or emotional heartache. I sympathize when they are in even the slightest bit of agony. “Oh, you poor baby. That paper cut looks really bad.” OK, you get the point.

I am prefacing my story with that, because I feel societal pressure to do so before I utter the next few paragraphs.

Today was the longest ride to school ever, and I wasn’t stuck in the backed up Route 29 traffic due to the .5-inch of snow fender-bender. It was the same 10-minute drive it always is, and yet, we couldn’t get there soon enough. When the last child exited the car, the door shut and I mentally uttered the words: “Good riddance.”

I know. I know. You’re thinking I’m a horrible mom right now. And maybe I am. But somehow I held it together for those excruciating 10 minutes while they sang screechy songs at the top of their lungs. They were actually competing to see who could sing at a higher pitch and more out-of-tune. Well, they didn’t say that, but I know my daughter can carry a tune, and I even found myself shushing her singing. It had to be intentionally annoying. A plot against me. Nobody does this sort of thing, unless they’re torturing Taliban prisoners. And then Ryker used the back of my seat like a karate sparring partner – kicking, pushing, punching. I thought I was going to be ejected from the Jeep at one point.

“You can’t be that loud while I’m driving,” I said.

 “I need to concentrate because of the snow,”  I said.

“Stop,” I said.

 “No,” I said.

 “Did you hear me???” ” I said.  

“I said CUT IT OUT!,” I said.

 “Stop it,” I said.

“ I said NO!” I said.

See how I tried to be polite at first, and then my explanations morphed into one-word commands. None of it got their attention. It was like the sight of snow this morning put them in an adrenaline-charged trance that prevented them from hearing my voice.

I was just about to give up when Abby began repeating everything Ryker said, or should I said screamed.

“Who are these obnoxious children?” I asked myself. What set them off? Some days they are quiet (really, I swear) and other days I just can’t reach them. They were too far gone. I was pulling into the school and thinking about how completely annoying this echo game is – so much so that doesn’t it bother them? I wondered. And then I remembered. I used to do it with my sisters. It must have driven my mother crazy.

And yet, she lives on and still loves us.

Of course, I love my children even still. I actually smiled about it as I pulled out of the school parking lot (mostly because I realized I dodged a bullet of 40 minutes of child torture, as traffic was backed up for a mile). And if the superintendent would have called 10 minutes later to cancel school, my smile would have turned upside down. This morning, I just needed to go to work and get away. “Today, you’re somebody else’s problem.” Yes, I really thought that. Sue me! Tonight, I’ll snuggle up with them, and they never have to know I was moments away from stopping the car and whooping them. (As if!) Besides, I was actually fantasizing about a snow day filled with sledding, snowball fights and hot chocolate by 10 a.m.